Cameron Zabko, CFP®
For many widows in their 50s or 60s, living near grandchildren feels like a fresh start in a season of life that’s already marked by profound change. At Westhollow Wealth Management, we often hear how meaningful those extra moments are—catching a grandchild’s first recital or simply having them over for weekend pancakes. Yet underneath that emotional drive is a financial question that looms large: “Can I afford higher housing costs if I move closer to family?”
This dilemma is more than a budgeting exercise. It involves navigating a shift in the real estate landscape, assessing how you’ll afford everyday expenses, and preserving your lifestyle and independence. As you think about relocating, it’s wise to know what really awaits in a higher-cost metro area, how downsizing might (or might not) help, and what it means for your long-term financial health. Our mission is to demystify these questions so you can take each step with clarity and confidence.
Housing prices have risen noticeably in much of the country. In fact, inflation-adjusted home prices have jumped about 65% since 2000, while rents in U.S. metro areas rose nearly 49% between 2017 and 2024. The United States also faces a shortage of four to seven million homes, which pushes prices higher in areas experiencing strong demand—such as popular suburban neighborhoods near your grandchildren’s schools. Even with a down payment from a late spouse’s estate, you may find yourself paying more for basic housing than you ever expected.
Property taxes, homeowners insurance, and maintenance expenses also tend to be higher in sought-after areas. While your family might love the idea of having you just a short drive away, your monthly outflow for housing alone could balloon by hundreds or sometimes thousands of dollars.
If you’re unsure whether that jump in cost is manageable, it’s often helpful to talk to a financial professional who can create projections based on your current savings and future income possibilities. These calculations can show whether the move supports your longer-term objectives or might derail them. If you’d like a personalized look at how a relocation could affect your retirement, schedule an intro call with us or simply contact our team to start a conversation.
Downsizing is a popular strategy for retirees who feel they no longer need multiple bedrooms or two-story homes. You might anticipate selling a house you shared with your spouse and buying something cozy enough to manage on your own. But in a hot market geared toward families, a smaller home doesn’t always come at a smaller price tag. Many communities that offer single-story or accessible layouts see intense competition from both older adults and younger families, driving prices per square foot higher than you might expect.
Another factor is how you’ll use any inherited or remaining assets—maybe you plan to use $300k for a down payment on a condo near your children. While that can make monthly payments more affordable, it also reduces the liquidity you might need for other retirement goals, healthcare costs, and “what-ifs” that come along in later years. Whether renting your current home could provide extra income is another consideration, but being a landlord has its own set of costs, logistics, and tax implications. What seems like a straightforward move can quickly become a puzzle with multiple interlocking pieces that require thoughtful planning.
Although high housing costs usually come to mind first, the ripple effect of living in an upscale or fast-growing metro area goes beyond your mortgage or rent. You might face higher property or sales tax rates, especially in states that fund robust public services. Healthcare premiums and out-of-pocket costs may change based on local hospital systems or insurance networks, which is particularly vital for widows who want to ensure the best medical care without draining their savings.
It’s also important to look at the day-to-day. Some metropolitan regions are spread out, so you’ll need a car for most errands, increasing your auto budget and insurance. On the other hand, if you’re trading daily drives for a well-connected transit system or a walkable neighborhood, your transportation costs might go down. Every city has its quirks, which is why we always encourage using reliable cost-of-living calculators, exploring official data from the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development, and chatting with residents. By painting an accurate picture of monthly spending, you’ll avoid the stress of unplanned expenses once you arrive.
Many grandparents move with visions of an open-door policy, imagining grandkids arriving after school and big Sunday meals together. These scenarios can be heartwarming, but it’s also crucial to set realistic expectations about how frequently you’ll see your family and what kind of support network you’ll need in a new location. If you leave behind a church community, friends, or volunteer activities, building that same sense of belonging elsewhere takes time—especially if you’re still navigating complex emotions from losing a spouse.
Talking with your family ahead of time can help you avoid misunderstandings about childcare, whether you’ll live independently, and how you’ll stay socially engaged beyond their visits. The last thing you want is to invest significant energy and funds in a big move, only to discover your grandkids’ schedules have changed or your child’s job might relocate. As we often remind clients, financial planning is integrated with life planning. That means weighing your social and emotional needs just as carefully as crunching the numbers.
An informed process often yields the best outcomes. Some families choose to rent for six months or a year before committing to a new home purchase. This “test-rent” approach lets you experience your target community firsthand—joining your grandchildren’s recitals, trying Sunday brunch at the local café, and getting a feel for how healthcare and transportation truly work. If you decide it’s not a fit, you’ve spared yourself the complexity of reselling a home only months after buying it.
It also helps to create detailed cash flow projections for at least two or three scenarios: staying where you are, fully relocating, or trying a split approach like renting in the new location while keeping your current home as an asset. For widows who are new to managing finances, projecting income and expenses can feel daunting, but it’s one of the most empowering things you can do. Tools like the AARP Livability Index, Zillow, or a dependable cost-of-living calculator will give you a decent look at how far your money might go in different areas. From there, you can sit down with a professional advisor who understands the nuances of estate management, late spouse inheritances, and potential tax implications.
Even if the real estate market cools in certain pockets, the shortage of available homes remains a sticking point, particularly for properties that are single-story or especially accessible to older adults. Builders tend to focus on larger projects or high-end developments, creating a gap for retirees who want something modest without sacrificing location. In many family-friendly neighborhoods, demand is high and listings often spark bidding wars—meaning you might pay a premium just to be near your loved ones. This trend won’t necessarily vanish in the near term, given that older adults are forming their own households at higher rates, and an increasing number of families are clustering in specific suburban regions for better schools.
From our vantage point, the biggest shift we see is how personal finances intertwine with these market realities. Widows in particular may have a unique set of decisions to juggle—what to do with an inherited 401(k), analyzing social security survivor benefits, or transferring assets through probate. Such transitions are far simpler with a comprehensive roadmap that accounts for where you live and how you plan to spend your retirement years.
Ultimately, whether or not you purchase a home near your family might depend less on what the market does and more on whether you can protect your lifestyle and avoid feeling financially cornered. Taking a bit of extra time now for solid planning can save you enormous stress down the road.
How do I decide if I should sell my current house or rent it out?
It largely depends on your comfort with being a landlord, the tax implications, and the property’s rental demand. Some widows find renting out their old home provides welcome extra income, but it also comes with maintenance responsibilities, possible property management fees, and ongoing upkeep. If you need a large chunk of the home’s equity to finance a new purchase or stabilize cash flow, selling might be a more straightforward route. It’s wise to ask an advisor to thoroughly compare potential scenarios before making a move.
Is a vacation home purchase near the grandkids a reasonable plan?
Buying a second property strictly for occasional visits can be rewarding but costly. You’ll duplicate housing expenses like taxes, insurance, and maintenance. If you’re looking for a place where multiple generations can gather, ensure you’re not overextending yourself. Consider renting a local property for special occasions first or sharing ownership with other family members. This approach can help you gauge genuine usage before committing to a sizable investment.
Will downsizing to a smaller home guarantee lower costs?
Not necessarily. In high-demand areas, smaller homes often carry a premium per square foot—especially if they come with features like single-floor layouts or prime locations. It’s easy to assume that fewer square feet automatically lower your monthly bills, but local market conditions and higher property taxes can offset any savings. A thorough cost comparison of your current and potential living expenses is essential.
What if I’m not sure I can handle all these decisions alone?
You’re not alone in feeling overwhelmed, especially if you recently lost a spouse who used to manage much of the family finances. A trusted financial advisor can help estimate your income needs, run cash flow projections, evaluate housing scenarios, and ensure you aren’t overlooking details like property taxes or the potential need for in-home care. It’s about developing a clear, straightforward plan that leaves you confident in your moves.
Moving closer to your grandchildren can bring immense joy, but the financial nuances require deliberate thought—especially for widows stepping into major decisions on their own. Higher housing costs are just the beginning; taxes, healthcare, and daily living expenses can all shift in unexpected ways. Yet with comprehensive planning, it’s possible to relocate, enjoy family time, and still work toward safeguarding your long-term financial security.
At Westhollow Wealth Management, we’ve guided widows through estate settlement, retirement planning, and the aftermath of life’s most significant transitions. We understand how important it is to maintain the life you’ve built while writing your next chapter on your own terms. If you’d like personalized guidance on whether a move to be closer to your grandchildren is right for you, we welcome you to schedule an intro call or reach out through our contact page. We’ll take the time to meticulously examine your assets, demystify complex financial decisions, and develop a thoughtful plan you can feel good about—aimed at helping you maintain your retirement goals and keep your heart close to family.
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